Friday, July 6, 2012

Dealing with this losing weight thing sucks. I need to lose weight. I hate my body image. I'm typically a confident girl. I still am. I still don't care about what other people think of me or my body. I only care what I think about it. There is no such thing as too thin, unless you can see your bones. I need to put myself through this struggle and stop eating, not completly, but almost close to it. If I get stuck being like this forever, so be it. I have been eating close to five hundred or eight hundred at the most calories this last week. It's not fun. I don't like thinking about food and not eating the entire day. It sucks, but I'm trying and I'll get to be who I want. I think I'll be happy after that. I'm starting to get depressed about this, just because it's not how I want to live. I'll see what life has planned ahead.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Last night was one of the craziest nights of my life. I've never threw up or puked so many times in my whole life. I thought I was going to die. I think I am finally living my life again and i'm finally going back to someone I want to be. I don't care what people think. If they don't want me in their life, so be it. I am going to stand out and be what I want. I'm going to lose it soon, I already know it. I'm ready for what life is going to throw at me.

Monday, July 2, 2012

I feel like I should just get away from this stupid town and just leave. The people I'm around mess with me too much and this gets old. Honestly I'm going back to my old self. I'm going to be bottled up again. At the same time I don't even know what to think, but that's just how I always am. I don't belong around people, it's not my thing. I feel like I'm so different compared to everyone else. Doesn't everyone think that though? I'm not sure, but I hope that I grow to be more wise. I'm a lonely person and I don't think people understand or see that in me. I'll grow out of it though. God, I'm such a wreck.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

This is the memory that still remains in my heart. There are only a couple things on my mind for once, that's actually pretty suprising. I want to go back in time, just one more time. At this point I want you to come back and at the same time I know I have to move on. At that case it's more that I need to move on. I cannot forget about what we had and what I left. We never pulled a total ending on our story, but hey no one ever gets the happy ending. I only see that kind of stuff in movies and it's so fake. This seems crazy, but I like the alone feeling. I know I'm able to go do whatever, but I'm not free. I'm still stuck to you. When all else fell you ripped my heart out. I didn't even notice at first. I'm the one to notice everything. I feel so blind sometimes knowing I never saw anything coming. I'm choosing to stay with my heart and not move on. I'm going to stay close and be here for when you come back. If you don't come back, I guess It wasn't meant to be. I'll wait till I'm as old as can be, I don't see myself with anyone else. I miss us, our nights, everything. You are my first love.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

So Far.

I am Adriana. I get sick of things and people, but I treat people how I get treated. I like the color light pink, I live life by the mile, and I'm a vegetarian. I think most people just don't understand me.